Are you celebrating this Sunday? Easter? Passover? Ostara? Seventeenth day of spring (or winter, depending on your hemisphere)? How about the kickoff of the 2016 US Presidential elections?
Oh come on. You’re not one of those election-dreading party poopers? This will be fun. Let the speculation, scandal mongering, mud-slinging, perseverating, back-pedaling, secret taping, pontificating, and chest beating begin.
Think of the swathes of time we won’t have to spend watching the news. Pollsters and pundits will saturate the airwaves, repeating the same gossip you read on Reddit with your first cup of tea. We will hear more, much more, about Bengazi, and deleted e-mails, and none of it will be new. For the next twenty months, it will take five minutes to read the papers.
Think of the entertainment ahead, although it might be hard to top 2012. Remember candidates with binders full of women? Threats to kill Big Bird? Conversations with empty chairs?
We’re off to a good start. Already, we’ve been treated to snarky comments of a few Liberty University students posted on the social media app Yik Yak, during Ted Cruz’s announcement speech.
No drama ahead about birth certificates, since everyone with a chance of making it is white and born in the U.S. Wait! Ted Cruz was born in Canada!
If the finals come down to Clinton and Bush, maybe we can save taxpayer money by re-using ballots.
Let’s spice things up and take bets on how much will be spent by whom, and then follow up in 2017 to see who gets what.
Confused by all the players? Don’t miss this CNN spoof on the “Too Many Cooks” show. Unlike me, it’s equally mean to all candidates.
Happy Easter, Passover, or whatever you celebrate. May we relax our attachment to the internet, especially now as Presidential drama dominates. We can turn off without missing anything, and carouse the old fashioned way.
What’s your take on our lengthy Presidential election process? Have any favorite 2012 election moments?