I was wrong!
I tried hard, and then only pretended to ignore the Presidential primaries. I turned off most of the news, because that’s what the news is about. I listened to music and wrote a (terrible) novel.
But who would have guessed?
This has been the most entertaining election season EVER. My husband recently forwarded a video of Carly Fiorina falling (that part wasn’t entertaining) off a stage after introducing the next President of the United States, less than a day before “Lucifer incarnate” withdrew from the race. No one on that crowded stage appeared to even notice her precipitous drop out of sight. As one friend responded, “She literally fell from our view, like the scales from our eyes.”
Last week, after months of excoriating our suddenly high-in-the-opinion-polls president for reading a teleprompter, Donald Trump made a series of solemn and rational-sounding but utterly without substance proclamations, his eyes bouncing from one teleprompted word to another. The democrats went wild. You hypocrite! And on the other side? Deafening silence. What fan of the Donald wants to hear rational proclamations? Don, how is this going to work?
Because he is IT. Donald Trump, the guy who Ivanka threw high heels at in the lobby of a fancy hotel back in the 1980’s, before (or after?) he divorced her, and before he divorced Marla, who was paid off after a body guard claimed he had sex with her.
Donald Trump? Whose unfinished namesake hotels are moldering on tropical beaches around the world, who has bankrupted himself twice (three times? who can keep track?)?
And on the other side are millions of people, mostly men I’m willing to bet, who have sworn on forty bibles they would NEVER vote for Hillary. Do you have people in your life who’ve told you this? I can name at least five right off the bat.
Now I’m glued to my favorite faux news (aka comedy) sources again, just like during the last campaign. I might even try to get a glimpse of the famous orange hair transplants this Friday when Don brings them for a visit to our home town. The Donald! Coming to Eugene? This will be great.
And you guys, and women, who’ve sworn off Hillary? True, it’s not over for Bernie, but we’re getting close.
So, it’s all right to admit now that most of us never dreamed her opponent would be a blustering trust fund baby trailing a fifty-year train of embarrassing revelations. Oh yeah, the republicans might still try to pull a Paul Ryan at the convention, but Donald’s fans have shown their willingness to kill for their candidate, or at least throw punches. We don’t want a riot at the convention do we?
The sad thing is that, too soon, all this entertainment will be over. Whoever we vote in will have the power to destroy the world, and it will be nose to the grindstone again.